Holiday Nutshell..

#We're back! Refreshed, refocused, re-budgeting.

#Did so much, ate too much and spent very much (as a result of the first two much's).

#Approx 1000 photos taken.... to sort through, print and file (yeah right).

#The weather was warmer in Sydney than we were expecting, and colder on the Gold Coast than we anticipated.
#We were blessed with Blanc hospitality.... it was the perfect start to the holiday, so relaxing and no pressure to do or be anywhere!

#Miss5 was most sad to leave her new friends. She was delighted to find a letter at home from Amelie... the start of some great letter writing, one thinks (had a bit of a giggle, Sophie, at the opening line..... are we still friends? too cute).

#Am getting used to having a fringe again..... spent a lot of time thinking about it. Haha.

#Had a wonderful catch up with family in Sydney.... the cousins galore factor was awesome!

#Caught up lots of different people.... so, so good!

#The 15hour train trip was an experience alright.... the kids loved it, MJ not going there again, and me undecided. It was made all the more exciting with the 3 brawling, drunken late-teen passengers who after spouting off many naughty words (I was pleased the children slept through), and coming up with many excuses for their atrocious behaviour... were kicked off the train, 5 hours into it! I had psyched myself up for a physical fight (protective lioness)..... it seemed they blamed us for being thrown off!

#Sydney roads are narrow and take some courage to drive on.

#Queensland roads are fine and the drivers are courteous.

#We ate at Hooters in the Gold Coast. That was different.

#We ate out nearly every night in the Gold Coast. I think rolling is my new sport.

#The theme parks, so fun.

#Got flu..... don't think it was the swine. Had thought about using it to get through the ride queues a bit faster (you know excuse me, swine flu coming through!) Tried to continue with holiday as much as possible... didn't want it to hold us up!

#The beach, so beautiful.

#We were blessed with accommodation in the Gold Coast that we would not EVER usually be able to think about. Beach front, 5th floor, views for royalty, luxury..... and after 4 nights there, made the humble retreat to our usual Surfers home, which has that familiar feel about it, it is like home.

#The rental cars, so small..... and our suitcases so full.

#Lots of shopping..... although mainly for the small people.

#Bought a new softie at the markets in Brisbane.... one for each of the kids and one for moi.

#I read a book! Yay! I had no idea what to expect from it, I think I bought it for 20c at an op-shop before we left. It was a great read! So pleasantly surprised.

#Think I will post our trip on the family blog in bits. The photos to go through..... I'm a bit overwhelmed thinking about it.

#Great flights. Saw two good movies. Lots of laughing.

#Pleased to be home (I think)..... lots to do..... but feel a bit more up to facing it all! God is good.

Can't wait to read and see what you've all been up to/making/creating!

Hello & See You Soon!

Well typical of me, we find ourselves with a little bit more time...... I gave us an hour and 1/2 extra at the airport - luckily we realised before we left, otherwise it would've been 4 1/2 hours of waiting at the airport! Imagine! We now leave in about 15mins time....

I didn't get anytime to post anything extra.... but if you're new to me you'll see that there are a couple of years worth of posts on here..... all tagged, all me just blahing on about me-related things.
Otherwise... have a look at the side bar... there you'll find a few of my friends (people I know in person) and a few of my blogging friends (people I feel I know). You'll be inspired, encouraged, entertained and can I say it again.... inspired!

I will miss my laptop. 12 days away from her....

Anyways, a quick tribute before I leave to Michael Jackson.
I believe he was a man who was desperate to be loved. Desperate for love. And therefore did some rather desperate things to try and find that love. I felt sorry for him, in all honesty.
There were some songs I thought were ok, some rather fantastic.... but there was a time in my life where he was just way too cool for school. I think I was maybe 11 or 12 years old.
I will never forget this one song.... it was (so deeply) my theme song for my form1 disco (11 years old!).... more the how the music made me feel then anything.... but as I've grown older, the words and the theme of his writing have taken on a deeper understanding and meaning.

Man in the Mirror.... Michael Jackson. Not sure who put this slide show to this song.... but it gives food for thought.
I hope he has found the love he has been searching for...

Our Trip

well, after my little crazy-moment yesterday.... I am definitely feeling so much better. Today has been so, so needed. Our guest speaker at church gave an amazing sermon this morning called The God Stretch. It put a lot into perspective for me. I am still feeling pressure.... but I realize it's all part of me being stretched.... in all sorts of places! In short form, she illustrated (literally) and defined The Stretch:

- a measure of pain
- not fatal
- part of the program, not the exception but the rule
- a stretch is good for you
- every new level is preceded by a stretch.

The dictionary defines it as to extend or force beyond the natural or proper limits.
I am in the stretch at the moment. And I know why (now).... But I also know that I need to watch my attitude while in the stretch..... and hold onto my alter too!

Packing has begun for our little trip. What a process! I am trying to pack for 2 seasons without taking too much.... and am failing terribly!

We leave in a couple of days for a 12 day stint across the ditch (Australia). It has been a financial stretch to get us there..... and a big part of my freak-out has been centred around us not having a safety net. I like a safety net..... you know, a huge amount of money to fall back on in case we need it.... or just to spend willy-nilly. We just don't have it... and I get a bit worried about that! But I'm handing it over.
I realize too that I am acting like a rotten, spoilt brat freaking about the safety net.
It has taken me a while to get excited. Not sure that I am there yet. I think once we've landed over there, I will breathe again, and actually feel like we're beginning our adventure! I am pleased to be leaving my father in a seemingly much better way... and although he will miss our daily visits, I am comforted that at the moment he is in a safe environment!

Our trip is supposed to do a few things.... MJ and I thought it'd be good for us to have regular contact with my Samoan family (ones who are closest to me).... they are mainly based in Sydney.. and I am determined that it's a part of my identity and culture that won't be a mystery to my children. So we are going to connect with them, hopefully meet a few new cousins... touch base with my closest cousin on that side (yay Peta, I'm so looking forward to it!).

We are also looking forward to catching up with old friends.... Sophie and Thierry, hopefully Becs too!! We are so thankful for your generosity in allowing us to stay with you! I can't wait to blog in person!.... How odd that I feel I know you so much better now that we aren't living in the same city! I am looking forward to our children reconnecting as kids, not babies! There is also the possibility of meeting new friends.... Anya, I hope it will work out!

After a few days in the Sydney winter, we are booked on an over night train! That's right, 15 hours on a train with our kids.... going north to hopefully a sunny Queensland! Spending a day in Brisbane and then driving to the Gold Coast where we will meet my sister and her family for a few days. We live only a suburb away from each other, but it will be nice to get away from the normal routine to chill and relax. They come back home and we stay on for a few more days ... some quality family/couple time.

So that's where I'll be. I had hoped to post a few extra things that have been milling around in my head... and creative space! I might get the chance..... but looking at all the packing there is to do and the cleaning for our house sitter.... not too hopeful! Would love it if you praying friends could send a few our way (you know, good health, great times, travel safe etc).

Will still be checking in though!

Gxx

My Egypt.

I have been to Essence this weekend. Essence is a women's conference hosted by our church.... and as promised it has been over and above ones expectation... but maybe in more of a round-a-bout way.
**Before I continue... let me throw in a disclaimer.... I am not a bible scholar. I get mixed up, muddled up ... but am always happy to be corrected (as long as it's the truth!) Whatever I retell here is my interpretation of what I heard.... not necessarily as it was told!**

One of the speakers today talked a bit about Abraham... promised so, so much...... and he got it... got there......in a round-a-bout way. Not straight forward, not simple. Abraham went to Egypt...Egypt was his dark place; instead of remaining in the Canaan, during the famine God sent, and trusting God to help him, Abraham went "down into Egypt". ..... a lot happened... and eventually Abraham moved forward... back to the place where he built his first alter of worship.

Anyways. I didn't really think a lot about the message until later today. I think I've mentioned that recently I've been under a heap of pressure. Stressed is not a word I like to use lightly.... but for the first time in a long time... I have been feeling stressed. Essence was a break in the storm for me. And in essence, it has been... oddly though.
I left to go home for the break this afternoon, and found that my car wouldn't start. I reached for my cellphone. Doh! left it at home!! So ran back to church in the hope of finding a phone. Was very kindly offered to send a text off someones phone.... but, I am hopeless with texts! I thought I'd find a pay phone ... but didn't know where to start, then went back to the church and one of the guys lent me his phone (yay!). Rang MJ who had been trying to get hold of me - Master2 fell at the pools and has sprained his neck!!! and Miss5 is on medication for something...... and then he gave me secret tips for how to start his car! Arghhhh.
Arghhh we are going on holiday on Tuesday!
Arghhh my dad is in hospital!
Arghhh I'm freaking about finances!
Arghhh I need more time!
Arghhh STRESSED.

Honestly, once I got the car started I just felt so DESPERATE for a small padded room.
I got home, checked the kids (and MJ) were doing ok, did a couple of hours work, and then went to visit dad ... I was so pleased to just sit and chat with him. On the drive home, it dawned on me just how exhausted I really am; and had a revelation.... this is my Egypt.
I am not meant to be here. I am not meant to be feeling so under pressure, so volatile and vulnerable at the same time, so worried, not coping.

So in the car.... driving back from the hospital.... I built my alter.... and started singing. Weak, wobbly, tearful, desperate, tuneless...

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that
You're my God

You're altogether lovely
altogether worthy
altogether wonderful to me.....

over and over and over,
Gaining strength, faith and hope.

And am in a better place. Now.

Toilet Roll Inners....

I am so friggin' over finding these in MY bathroom..... honestly, 2 per day, AT LEAST!!! How much toilet paper does this family use??!! Arghhh. And they are never left tidily like these 4 perfect google-imaged inners.... NO! They are left lying carelessly on the floor, usually with bits of toilet paper ripped off and chucked down next to them... or a whole pile of unused paper which was obviously a fun thing to pull on and play with while doing ones business.

SOOOOO over it. Now, I will just suck up my toilet-roll-inner-rage and move on. No one likes a sooky mum.

Maybe I should leave pens and scissors in there too? Gotta love google image for the weirdest things.

Foster the Imagination.....

and the rest will fall into place.... well, in most cases anyway!

Miss5 is moving along very nicely at school. Literacy seems to be a real strength, excelling was the term thrown at me by her teacher a couple of weeks back. Yesterday I popped into her classroom after school because she wanted to read her story to me, and noticed that it wasn't written in her writing book, but on a piece of pad paper. She had run out of pages in her story writing books - has used up two writing books to date. It's been 18 weeks at school. So this morning I popped into the office to buy a new book and got quizzed by the office lady and librarian. Apparently there was supposed to be enough story writing pages for up to 18mths of school. They had allowed for the extreme. Then the librarian clicked:

Are you Miss5's mum?

Yes (slightly bewildered - we are a school of 400+ how would she know that yet?)

Ahh yes.... I understand now....

And there started the rave about what a special girl Miss5 is... how she was blown away by her book quiz answers, has she always been like that etc, etc...

PROUD MUM.

We decided collectively (the office lady, librarian and myself) that I should buy 2 more writing books for this year.

I walked out filled with parental pride. It's so nice to know that your little one has been noticed. As soon as I got home I rang MJ to retell the story..... PROUD DAD.

I've known for a while that Miss5 would pick up reading and writing very smoothly. There were very clear signs from a young age that she was naturally inclined this way..... don't get me wrong, she is not reading novels or writing essays, it's all very simple stuff..... but when your 5 year child climbs into your bed on a Saturday morning to explain the difference between there and their and a whole heap of homonyms or homophones or whatever...... then you know you have a child who is interested, enthusiastic and hungry about literacy..... and this is not something I should ignore.

A lot of people I know would put this down to my work life as a teacher. In fact, it's something that has commonly come up...... but, and this can all be clarified with MJ, I can honestly say that I have never, ever, ever intentionally sat down to TEACH my children anything. In fact, particularly with reading and writing, I have felt very strongly that I would not push them to know the how to's, before they start school. I just have never seen the point. HONESTLY. When Miss5 was 2yrs she wanted to use crayons and pens.... anything that would make colour..... so I gave her them, showed her how to hold them correctly.... and left her to it. Any actual letter formation was taught at kindy... and now school. She comes home (and did this when at kindy too), sits down and wants to write, draw, copy, colour. Where some children want to run, play, climb, jump..... she fills with making stuff, writing stories, creating pictures or role playing. (Hence netball, swimming and dancing lessons! Move baby, move!) She isn't naturally inclined this way.

I think as a parent our responsibility is to foster the imagination and encourage the learning... as naturally as possible..... let the formal stuff take place when it should. Here's what I'm big on, and YES some of it is a flow on from teaching:

#Reading to your kids!!!!! Read, read, read. They are hungry for text. We get 50 - 100 books out of the library a month. The fees for late returns are hideous, so I try to keep onto them.

#If there is a book they love, encourage role play with each other, with their toys, draw pictures, watch the movie of the story (if available), make puppets of characters, paint.... take ideas from the story - Jack and the Beanstalk, let's plant some beans!! etc.

#Go places .... anything you do that is out of the ordinary with your children will naturally increase their spoken vocabulary and therefore will eventually come into their written language.

#If you go to the beach, collect stuff, bring them home and make collages with bits, or cards, or plant them into a special garden! Get your child to draw pictures of the items.... if there is something in particular they are fascinated with, then find a book on it and LEARN MORE together.

# If your child wants to write the birthday card, let them. Don't be too fussed on spelling.... crikey Miss5 can spell better than MJ! Write the message out for them on a piece of scrap and let them copy it.... in whatever way they want to. If it's unreadable, then just quickly write what it says in the bottom corner of the card!

# Let them get messy with their play and creating. Yes the tidy up sucks, but who cares, really?!

#Bake and make.

#Model it. This is a biggie. If mum and dad read a lot, then it becomes a natural thing for the child to hook into. If mum and dad run and exercise a lot, again, the child copies and takes on. With our 100 day challenge our kids have become impatient about being allowed to come running with us!! at 6am, we always say no..... but when they are a bit older, for sure! So they are content at the moment with helping us count down the days!

#Maths comes into baking, counting letter box numbers when you're walking, counting how many red cars you spot, how many cicada shells you've collected..... working out how many sleeps until....

I know for some children, literacy is a really long process.... but learning can always take place. Develop their oral language through life experiences, work with the teachers on finding the best for your child and if they aren't helpful get online, look in the yellow pages, talk to other parents (helpful ones!) and find out who can help you - but don't give up on fighting for your child's right to learn to read and write!!

My biggest things are, however..... NO PRESSURE! and YOUR CHILD IS AN INDIVIDUAL - DON'T COMPARE!

You don't ever want learning to be a chore, so try and allow it to happen... with life experiences, outings, family fun etc. Also, there is never any point stewing over how well your child is doing compared with another. Siblings are always, always going to do different things. Children need to be taught to celebrate themselves and their own achievements - whether that be writing the first letter of their name or writing a recount of the weekend.

Also too, there are some very accessible resources out there.... in NZ (not about Aussie??) one of my favourite magazines is Parenting by Parent's Inc. There are usually very simple ideas for children of all ages, and great parent tips too. For $25 a year (4 Copies) to subscribe, it's a cheap investment!

The Fashion Wagon....

.....how quick are you to jump onto the Fashion Bandwagon? Are you an immediate embracer of all things hip, new, trendy and current..... or do you take a while to warm up?

Me, I do my own thing really. Not usually one to worry too much about looking like I've stepped off the runway..... more inclined to wear what I like, when I like it.....sometimes that includes things that are currently hot, some not...... and sometimes things that were once-upon-a-time, hot.

I do, however, seem to be surrounded by a lot of fashion savvy people.... straight off the runway and wearing with confidence. Cool for them.

Late last year, I heard rumours of a comeback of sorts. On Saturday I saw someone I know wearing them - with utter confidence.

OMGoodness, so 90's was my immediate thought. Then after a while it was...... nice ... but I don't think I'll go there, again.

Then today. I was thinking I'd do a spot of research online, in prep for our trip across the ditch, just to see what I should look out for..... in the hope that I may have more than $2 to spend, and in the hope that I may come across some bargains yet to be found in my local mall (I know, most of what you find there, can be bought here.... but you just never know!)! I am very hopeful.

Anyways, in my searching, what do you know.... I came across the rumoured comeback.... which it turns out happened in 2007. So I'm already a couple of years out-of-date.

Hammer pants. or Harem pants.

What the heck. Really?! I don't even know if I actually thought they were cool the first time around, more that MC Hammer was cool and he wore unusually baggy trousers. Even if you've got a big arse, do you cover it up with super, super bagginess?? I don't know???

I've only just warmed up to the return of leggings, 3 years ago...... trialling them on Miss5. I may have to do the same this time.

There are benefits to doing your own thing. If you see me wearing these.... you'll know I've succumbed. Or had no other choice really (like, to not wear them is a crime on society). It will take a while. Or I found them on sale for $2.

Difficult.....

...it is difficult seeing the man who was always as strong as an ox ...... always bigger, wiser, physically active..... always there..... lying frail and in need, in a hospital bed

...it is difficult to remain cheery and optimistic when there is so much uncertainty about his future

...it is difficult for him to accept that he is no longer young and fit, even though in his mind he is still mostly in that space

...it is difficult for him to understand that he is no longer independent, that he needs the physio and the help

...it is difficult for him to find peace in such a sterile, boring environment.... looking at the other patients and refusing to believe that he is anywhere near the stage that they are at

...it is difficult to hear that he is not sleeping well or liking the hospital food

...it is difficult to not feel guilty about going on "holiday" next week, knowing that he will miss our daily visits... or not notice our absence.... either way

...it is difficult to not postpone... which would be crushing the excitement and expectation of the trip that the kids are holding onto...

...it is difficult for him to hear me say I love you heaps when I leave him, because it is not the nature of the parent/child relationship he knows and understands.... but I don't care.

...it is difficult to not worry.... but am trying to hold onto God's promises.... to cast my cares to Him, to not worry about anything and just pray about everything....

** have removed comments from this post** I just needed the thinking, breathing space.

Chalkboard #5

# Am being stretched capacity wise..... so much going on, it's all a bit overwhelming at times! Trying to get ready for our holiday on a very tight budget (did someone mention a recession? arghh), my father is in hospital again so daily visits there, parent helping at school .... normal life! Arghhhh!

# Surviving on liquid gold. Coffee. There goes my June ambition to only have one decent coffee a day! It is currently running throw my veins as a means to get me through the add-ons & extra tripping around mentioned above!

# Only 5 more runs!

# Only 5 more days until chocolate will re-enter my world. It will be ugly. I promise.

# Went to a great girls night shopping the other night (on my recession budget!). Deals, bubbles, nibbles, music - included an impromptu performance by my friend who is fulfilling a dream by starting a little soul-singing group. I love that! Gives me hope that one day I will perform in a musical. One day.

# Bought a bag at the above which I am tres happy with! Tres happy!

# Am sooooo thankful for the sun. Keeping up with the washing has been a bit much with the rain..... sad to admit I've had to use the drier more than once or twice this past week. But sun is forecast for the weekend so going to make the most of it!

# Believing God for some big things at the mo'. BIG things. Well to me anyway.

# Proverbs is ROCKING MY WORLD. Go there.!

# Our kids.... AMAZING. Miss5 won a book prize at school last week for her book quiz answers.... she dressed as Fancy Nancy (who is simply gorgeous and our MOST favourite book character, atm.)

Master2 makes people smile - the elderly people in the hospital and the nurses are enjoying his daily appearances (zooming around the room on Grandad's walker is always a hit)... and also today when we went to the supermarket and to school pick-up..... and he insisted on wearing this:

Not very easy to negotiate into the carseat.

Land of the Giants...

..seriously.... how can there be this much difference in height...yet only this much difference in foot size?

Both are tall, like off the chart tall for their age..... but Master2's going through this Froddo stage (Hairy with Big feet) and has me completely freaking out that one day I will have a 13 year old son whose shoes will have to be 'specially made and imported from some far away shop that specializes in giant shoes. Or I could get some of those shoe elves......

*Snicker*, *Chuckle*, *Snort*.

I LOVE a good laugh.

I laugh quite a LOT.

Actually good and bad habit - I laugh often at inappropriate times, and sometimes (shh) at inappropriate things or people..... it can be a bit of a shocker-thing .... to laugh when you're not supposed to!

At my nephew's birthday party last weekend there was a clown. He made me laugh a lot. He had that great ability to entertain the kids (serious laughter there - too funny!) but also to direct a lot of it at the adults too...

At one stage he said to a kid....

are you having a good time? (nod, nod) Can you please let your face know?

Haha - well I thought it was funny!

(insert - photo of our dog.... such an appropriate line for her! This is Brodie's happy and unhappy face!)

I know, sense-of-humour is a bit like art... such a personal thing. I laugh in movies when no one else is laughing.... I think my sense of humour is a bit whacked at times. I can think back to something funny that happened years ago.... and still end up almost wetting myself over it!

But doesn't laughter just lighten up a serious situation? (The only time it's not really that great is when you get the giggles and someone is in the middle of doing a Tupperware demonstration or the like! Been there ... too many times, don't really recommend it.)

Often with my kids.... when they fall over, it's quite comical.... and I laugh... they sometimes look at me slightly bewildered... but then crack up themselves (and then do the whole try-and-re-enact the fall thing)... Tears or laughter. I know which one I prefer! (nb. Discretion is most definitely used here!!)

On the other side of this is that I think it's important to also be able to laugh at oneself! I hope that my kids learn that very important skill too!

Anyways, the other day, I was feeling a bit "busy" and went to the mall to run a few errands. I noticed the book shop was having 50% off cards... so I thought I'd have a look. I ended up laughing (with tears) at the most ridiculous cards! So healthy!

I walked out with four cards....

And then last night, reading Proverbs. I've been making lists of ones that jump out at me each night.... but this is one which I thought rang true last night......

Proverbs 15:30 Smiling faces make you happy and good news makes you feel better.

There is nothing new in this..... but isn't it just so true? A smile is so contagious.... and laughter is incredibly infectious! I find I can make even the grumpiest checkout girl smile, just by smiling at her! And it's free to give!

And here's one of the cards I bought.....

It reads:

Jimmy followed the example of the family cat, who'd just climbed over into next door's garden for a crap.

What do you think? Funny or am I just whacked??!! Hahaha.

Mish-Mash...

... is my brain! So much going on right now, it's all a bit crazy.

Some of it is self-imposed; some of it is challenging me.
However, even though life is all a bit mish-mash for me at the moment, there is an over-riding feeling of peace about things - the challenging and the easy stuff........ does that make sense?





Last night MJ and I watched Australia.

Oh my goodness. I don't know what I was expecting, but I certainly wasn't expecting to feel so emotionally and spiritually involved in this movie!

From what I gather, people have both loved and hated this film ...... I really enjoyed it! Have you seen it? What did you think?
I sat expecting to get a good watch ..... but what I ended up watching was a whole heap of parallels to how I see God working in my life..... So weird, because the plot of the film is nothing, let me reiterate, NOTHING, like my life ..... but there were themes that jumped out at me and truly impacted me..... so strange!

The film was a mix of serious and quirky - now that is like my life!

The little boy Nullah, half aboriginal and half white-Australia (not sure of the correct term here) .... is lost in his sense of identity. Spends a lot of time running/hiding because the "authorities" (those who impose what can be considered normal) say he doesn't belong....He finds himself at home with Mrs Boss (Nicole Kidman) and Rover (Hugh Jackman - ahem, hotness) .... His aboriginal Grandfather is always watching, communicating with him through music and signs, guiding him, teaching him .... drawing him to find his true identity in the aboriginal ways...... He is never very far away, even in times of trouble the grandfather is there .... He turns up in the desert and guides them through sand storms... leads them out of the wilderness. His heart is FOR the child. Even though the grandfather himself is wanted by the authorities, he does not leave the child .... and when they do lock him away, he doesn't stop communicating with Nullah.

I don't know much about the Aboriginal culture at all .... but the relationship between the Grandfather and the child, so reminded me of how God, our heavenly father, is never very far from us.... in the wilderness with us.... His heart is always for us.... and His desire is for us to find our true identity ... in Him.

Then some lines in the script ...... which held some truths for me too:

• Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be
• In the end, the only thing you ever own is your story. I'm just trying to make mine a good one.
• You have been on a journey. Now we are heading home, to my country, to our country.
  - King George (David Gulpilil) - the Grandfather
• My grandfather, King George, he took me walkabouts, taught me black way, he teach me the most important lesson of all: tell story.

All that from an Aussie movie eh? Crikey.